Why do fireworks get all the coolest names?

25 July 2008

Fireworks are by their very nature quite exciting. I mean, it�s hard to imagine something full of gunpowder than can fly, explode and deafen you as mundane. Even if it had a really boring name, like �the sloth firework�, or �the ordinary, everyday, commonplace, nothing-special firework� it would still be a firework; it would still whizz up into the sky and bang, or shoot multi-coloured sparks! So why waste all the really interesting names on them, like �Ultimate Finale�, �Big Nobby�, �Orbiter� �Titan� and �Whirling Demon�. If when I went to do my weekly food shop, the bread had names like �Sliced white DEVIL CRASH bread� or �Semi-skimmed thunder blitz milk� I think I�d find it a lot more interesting. I mean, it would help if the packaging for my mayonnaise had a spaceship, or perhaps fire and demons plastered all over the outside. Or maybe it could be shaped to resemble a missile bunker, or London Tower Bridge, waiting to shoot condiments into the sky at all angles. I think that would make me much more excited about shopping!

Maybe what I should be asking, instead of why fireworks get all the best names, is why all the companies out there who don�t make products with immediate kudos haven�t caught on to what fireworks manufacturers have been doing for years.

Britannia Fireworks offers some great fireworks with great names, some simple but some cool too!